I CAN MOONWALK!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
where does the pee come out of this thing
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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