i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.