I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO