so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is