Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
