Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
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My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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