two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize