Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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