I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...