Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I believe in your delicious
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
