I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
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I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
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You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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