big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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