i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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