I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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