VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
