THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
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Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
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I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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