Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
