singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
pop tarts are not kleenex
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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