so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
