So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
not ubering you a puppy
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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