Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Randomize
