I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
