He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize