i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize