Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.