can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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