OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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