Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It all started with a game of naked twister.