I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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