I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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