i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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