just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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