I molested 6 butterflies tonight
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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