omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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