just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Still dying that you shit outside
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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