physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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