oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
