Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My balls are so social today.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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