I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
