Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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