Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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