I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime