And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS