The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.