And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize