Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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