Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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