just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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