Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize