Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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