It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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