Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
