he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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