Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
