i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize